These are Saddam's fishies, swimming about in the man-made pond that surrounds Al Faw Palace here at Camp Victory. Notice the bent-back little fellow up top, in the middle. His name is "Broken Back", but since that's not too original, and since he can't turn left, we sometimes refer to him as "Derek Zoolander." Ben Stiller fans will understand the reference. We feed these fish ever day, and they know it and expect it. They wait by the palace entrance, where every soldier who passes by throws them a treat of bread, etc. My friend Kristy and i feed them Power Bar Harvest Bars to make them strong enough to defeat fishing rods. Our main goal each time is to make sure little "Zoolander" gets a bite or two. That requires, oftentimes, a two-pronged attack. The strong fish often overwhelm the little wounded fishy, forcing him down deep and keeping him out of reach of the snacks. And since he can't turn left or swim upwards very well, he's at a serious disadvantage. We break up two Harvest Bars, and Kristy throws hers in the water, away from Zoolander, luring the able-bodied fish away. Once he's in the clear, I launch my Power Bar crumbs into the water, aiming just in front of Zoolander's face. Once we've witnessed him snag one or two bites, we feel we have done our duty and can return to work. Actually, we return to work, regardless, but seeing the little fella grab some chow makes us very happy. This is one of the fun little pastimes that we find entertaining and enjoyable here on lovely Camp Victory, Iraq.

Peace out, ya'll. Catch ya on the flip-side.