We got a mass email today that made me chuckle. Apparently, the gym here is getting a portable "defoliator." I was shocked at first, wondering who in his right mind would want to have his dead, dry skin removed right their in the gym, in front of everybody. Then I realized that such a device would have been referred to as an "exfoliater", if that were even a word, and I was temporarily relieved. Then I was suddenly afraid that a "defoliator" must be something that rips your hair out at the follicles...ohmigosh! Finally, Babs figured out that to "defoliate" must mean to remove the foliage from, or, in other words, to deprive a plant of its leaves. Well! Fantastic! That portable defoliator is a welcome relief, for it should help with the leafy overgrowth problem from which we are all apparently suffering. I haven't noticed an abundance of leaves at the gym, but I've been doing my workouts outdoors all week. Frankly, I am afraid to go to the gym now, because I don't want the new defoliator to attack me. Even worse, I would hate to see someone have a heart attack and witness a first responder breaking out a leaf-eating bug (or maybe even a pair of hedge clippers!?) to try to resuscitate the patient! Talk about a lawsuit!
Of course, I had to reply to the guy who sent the email with a smart-aleck remark. I messed with him about the defoliator and his misspelling of "Charlie Daniels." As it turns out, I am not the only one to pick up on the defoliator thing. When the chaplain made fun of him, he sent back a reply about how he hadn't "speel checked it." I guess he's taking a lot of flak for his inadvertent substitution of defoliator for defibrillator, but I think everybody learned something today.